孩子为什么会“说谎”?
Why do children lie?
Children younger than 3 years old are vague about the concepts of time, space, quantity and the relationship between characters. They also confuse imagination with reality and often say "lies" that they don't know. For example, they may say that they already have the toys they want to buy.
In most cases, children lie in order to avoid punishment, such as mischief caused trouble, afraid of parental punishment.
有的孩子想象力丰富,描述事情时,常常掺杂着自己的想象,说得绘声绘色,过“嘴瘾”。
还有的孩子说谎,与父母干涉过多有关,孩子很不耐烦,随口敷衍,以表示对抗。
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孩子爱“说谎”怎么办?
How do children love to "lie"?
孩子的说谎往往并不是为了故意伤害他人,父母不要轻易将孩子的说谎行为与品质划等号,不能因为某一次谎言就给孩子定性,给孩子贴上“小骗子”、“谎话精”、“吹牛大王”等标签。
这样做不但对孩子改掉说谎的毛病没有任何帮助,反而对孩子的说谎行为起到了负强化的作用,可能会促使他今后更多地说谎。
孩子说谎并非都是有意的,尤其是年龄小、想象力、创造力丰富的孩子更容易进行想象型撒谎。父母在日常生活中要注意告诉孩子什么是真实发生的,什么是想象的,让孩子逐渐把现实和想象区分开来。
当父母怀疑自己的孩子说谎时,首先应该进行仔细的调查、了解,搞清楚孩子是不是真的在说谎,如果没有搞清事情真相就草率下结论,可能会造成亲子关系的紧张。
当孩子预期事情会有负面后果而说谎时,父母应了解孩子的需要,制定更实际的规则。
另外,有些孩子会因为跟父母的接触机会少,所以用说谎的方法去争取父母的关注。换句话说,父母平日应加强与孩子沟通互动,多了解孩子的想法,让孩子感受到父母对他的关爱与注意。
可能家长们没有想到,在孩子的谎言背后还孕育着智慧种子吧?对孩子而言,说谎,尤其是幻想性说谎是他们想象力发展的最好见证。
只要家长根据孩子说谎的情况分别对待,并进行恰当引导,孩子的说谎就不再是令家长头痛的问题。
当孩子做错事,为逃避责罚而说谎的时候,家长不要过分严厉。这样会给孩子造成很大的心理压力,也不能立竿见影地改变孩子的说谎行为,相反还可能让孩子更加依赖说谎来逃避责罚。智慧的家长可以利用孩子的这次错误“做文章”,既让他们明白自己的错误,又不失时机地利用说谎行为开发孩子的智力。
比如,可以直截了当地指出孩子的错误,温和地提醒他以后不要犯同样的错误,然后再给他提出要求:你可以通过别的方式弥补自己的错误行为。
如果孩子发生行为性说谎,家长一定要相信孩子会改正错误,给孩子提供补救方案并实施方案的机会。这样,既可以让小孩自省,同时也可通过给予小孩设法补救方案的机会,让他们开动脑筋自己解决问题,养成自己对自己的错误行为负责的习惯。
比如,孩子拿了别的小朋友的玩具回家,妈妈可以让孩子自己思考,应该采取什么样的方式来弥补自己的错误?
Children's lies are often not intended to hurt others. Parents should not easily equate their children's lying behavior with their quality. They should not determine the nature of their children just because of a certain lie, and label their children with "little liar", "liar" and "braggart".
This not only does not help the child to get rid of the problem of lying, but also plays a negative strengthening role in the child's lying behavior, which may prompt him to lie more in the future.
It is not always intentional for children to lie, especially for children who are young, imaginative and creative. In daily life, parents should pay attention to tell their children what is real and what is imaginary, so that their children can gradually distinguish reality from imagination.
When parents suspect that their children are lying, they should first make a careful investigation and understanding to find out whether the children are really lying. If they don't find out the truth, they will make a hasty conclusion, which may cause tension between parents and children.
When children lie in anticipation of negative consequences, parents should understand their children's needs and make more practical rules.
In addition, some children will use the method of lying to win their parents' attention because they have less contact with their parents. In other words, parents should strengthen communication and interaction with their children on weekdays, learn more about their children's ideas, and let their children feel their parents' care and attention for them.
Maybe parents didn't expect that there are seeds of wisdom behind their children's lies? For children, lying, especially fantasy lying, is the best witness of their imagination development.
As long as parents treat children's lies separately and give proper guidance, children's lies will no longer be a headache for parents.
When children do wrong and lie to avoid punishment, parents should not be too strict. This will cause great psychological pressure on children, and it can not immediately change their lying behavior. On the contrary, it may make children rely more on lying to avoid punishment. Smart parents can make use of their children's mistakes to "make an article", not only let them understand their mistakes, but also seize the opportunity to use lying behavior to develop their children's intelligence.
For example, you can point out your child's mistakes directly, gently remind him not to make the same mistakes in the future, and then ask him: you can make up for your mistakes in other ways.
If the child has behavioral lying, parents must believe that the child will correct the mistake, and provide the child with a remedial plan and the opportunity to implement the plan. In this way, children can not only reflect on themselves, but also give them the opportunity to try to find a remedy, so that they can use their brains to solve problems by themselves and form the habit of being responsible for their own wrong behaviors.
For example, when a child comes home with other children's toys, the mother can let the child think for himself, what kind of way should he take to make up for his mistakes?
7、如果你明知孩子说谎,不要对他一再追问。
8、面对习惯性说谎的孩子该怎么办
7. If you know your child is lying, don't ask him again and again.
8. How should the child that faces habitual lie do
这种做法好处:
The advantages of this approach are as follows:
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编辑:Tina
审阅:Lily Tracy Jenny
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